I was driving home, trying to think of what to write for the first entry or whatever it is that I'm doing here. I thought about describing a dream I had the other night, but then thought that people would get the impression that I am just some sex-starved young teen, when actually I'm in my mid-twenties.

And then it hit me what I had just thought. I'm in my mid-twenties. Really in the beginning of the middle, but the middle none the less. I'm old. I'm almost done with undergrad, but I look at the majority of the kids at my school, and realize, that, yeah, they're exactly that. Kids. I'm taking a couple of summer classes right now, so I'm on campus at leat twice a week, and every thursday this month they are doing freshman orientations. And I look around at all of the incoming freshmen and think, was I that young, that same attitude, whatever when I started college?

I dunno. Its not that I mind that I'm growing old, hell, it sure beats the alternative, but...while every day I grow older, I've still felt like I'm...stagnant. I look around, at my friends, family, people around me in general. Someone I grew up with got married last week. My best friend is getting married in three weeks. My brother(Younger brother) is getting married in a year. And its not just the fact that I don't have any marrage prospects. Many of my friends are in, if not carreers, definately jobs that will open doors to a career. Me? I'm a shift supervisor at a book store. Not something that is going to get me anywhere real significant. And trust me, I'm not going to be a bookseller for life.

I'm ready to move forward. I'm taking my first steps. Soon, I will get on a bike and move faster. Than, behind the wheel of a car to go further. Maybe that will take me to a leer jet and I will just get the fuck out.

Moving on...why is it so difficult?